It’s hard to put into words exactly what has happened at Chelsea Football Club this season. I’m aware I failed to provide pieces about both Madrid (h) and Arsenal (a). Quite frankly I was busy. More importantly, I simply couldn’t be arsed. Poor I know, but at least I’m honest. I did have drafts for both pieces which had been hastily written over a number of journeys on the London Underground but a final revision was never made.
Bring on the final day of the season anyway.
I’d like to caveat this entire blog by saying that this entire piece has genuinely nothing to do with the fact that we happened to play Newcastle in the 38th and final game of the season.
I haven’t actually watched Chelsea play in person since a painful visit to the Emirates stadium back in the first week of May. A blessing really as the end of the season, despite having zilch to play for, has been a slow and painful one.
The day couldn’t have been any better for it. From the minute I looked out the window having woken up, the sun was shining with barely a cloud in the sky to accompany it. It’s probably the first time this year where I’ve actually thought to myself “You know what? Summer might actually be here.”
The Waterside Inn was the water hole of choice for the occasion. A site slightly further afield from Stamford Bridge that is normally reserved for special occasions so it seemed a fitting place to go for the post-mortem of our season. Sat outside in the sun for four hours pre-game was probably not one of my smartest decisions and by the time we were ready to head to Stamford Bridge it was hard to tell what was hitting me harder out of the beers or sun.
Mistakes had been made in the kit I’d decided to wear for the game. Wanting to look cool, I’d normally opt to wear a plain T-Shirt but being in such a jubilant mood with the end of season fast approaching, the decision was made to wear a vintage 04/05 kit. Unfortunately, both Cammy and Pav had embarked on a similar line of thinking. We looked ridiculous.
The decision of Chris Gagg to make the journey down from the midlands really did emphasise just how big an occasion this was going to be and his delightful combination of Ray Ban’s and short shorts was a sight to behold for all.
Inside the ground, I was in no fit state to continue drinking, not least a depressing pint of Singha. For once, Water would be my drink of choice inside the ground. The @wearetheshed supporters group had done an amazing job organising a huge banner to celebrate Azpilicueta’s time at the club. If it is to be his final game at Stamford Bridge, the send off from fans will have been a fitting one.
There was unsurprisingly a party atmosphere from the travelling away fans. Regardless of the source of the money for their squad overhaul in the last 18 months, Eddie How has done a truly unbelievable job with this Newcastle side. I’ve always found their away kit to be a bit strange with it’s Saudi Arabian themed colours, but I’m not too sure Newcastle fans will be entirely bothered now they find themselves back in the Champions League for just the third time in their clubs history.
Anthony Gordon would surely rank number one on Newcastle player’s you’d least like to see score against your club so it was only natural that he opened the scoring. Having now seen the goal back, it’s pretty calamitous and really does just about sum up our season to date. Zero accountability from our players with them all seemingly absolving themselves from any fault to the goal.
Raheem Sterling, despite a poor season by his own standards, has not been as completely hopeless as I’d probably have said. He’s been our one “bright spark” going forward and that showed with his involvement in our goal yesterday. I’m excited to see how he gets on next season with a more suitable supporting act around him.
Half time 1-1. The game literally meant nothing so even now I don’t really know what to make of this score line.
There was a shock to be found on the Shed End bar’s menu, my regular Chicken Balti pie had actually been replaced by a Beef and Onion medley. I wasn’t sure how to feel, and it did feel strange to be eating a piping hot pie on a glorious summers day, but it did go down an absolute treat. I’d even be tempted to say it was better than the regular chicken one so I’ll be hoping this is a more regular feature on next season’s menu.
The second half flew by due to a combination of intoxication and sheer boredom at what I was watching but at last, the final whistle blew, and the most horrible season possible had finally come to an end. Unsurprisingly, there wasn’t a pitch invasion but the news of Leeds being condemned to the Championship probably would’ve warranted one.
Mixed emotions at full time. Sadness that this will probably and quite rightly that Lampard walks around the Stamford Bridge pitch in a managerial role. The task he took on was completely hopeless, these players wouldn’t have bothered putting on a show for anyone in that dugout so it is a shame that this has acted as a further smear on his managerial career.
Frank received a huge amount of support yesterday and it feels good that the Stamford Bridge crowd has finally been able to give him a goodbye of sorts. His name was sung in the Shed from the 70th minute until the last and you can tell he enjoyed it. He is the greatest player this club has ever seen and I struggle to think of many ways this will ever be eclipsed. 211 goals as a player and two impossible jobs as a manager. I think the success of his first time here in the dugout is often overlooked but guiding us to top 4 in 2019/20 was a serious feat in itself. I’m sure he knows just how loved he is at the club but I’d love to see him take up a role on the board somewhere, there’s no doubt he has the brain for it.
I didn’t really feel the need to say much of a thank you to the majority of the Chelsea squad walking around the pitch post-game. Only a small minority can hold their heads up after what has been a shambolic season. In no particular order, plaudits can be given to…
Kepa Arrizabalaga – Not the best keeper in the world, but he’s redeemed himself this season and saved us on a number of occasions.
Benoit Badiashile – One of the few signings who has actually been good. Injured for four months now but clearly a promising career ahead.
Thiago Silva – 38 years old and the obvious Player of the Year. Enough said.
Trevoh Chalobah – Used sporadically. Surely going to leave this summer but has generally been pretty reliable when called upon.
Ben Chilwell – Injured for much of the season but someone who can always be counted on to put in 100% effort.
Cesar Azpilicueta – Not as fast as he used to be but an absolute legend in his own right and another player who will always give his call for the badge.
Enzo Fernandez – One of our few world class players. He’s been brilliant every time he’s played for us but I believe he’ll het the correct plaudits once he’s surrounded by a few better players.
Ruben Loftus-Cheek – Not good enough to start, but a serviceable squad player. Not once has he complained about a lack of game time and a move to link up with his old pal Fikayo Tomori would be fitting.
Denis Zakaria – A strange loan move. Was actually very good when deployed in the middle of the season before his hamstring went.
Lewis Hall – Young Player of the Year. Four of his 12 appearances came against Manchester City but he has a very bright future ahead. Watching Lewis both this and last season, it makes the decision to spend ~£60 million on an unnamed player even more questionable. That being said, Lewis is good enough that a future in midfield could certainly await him.
Noni Madueke – Direct when he’s played, excited to see what Poch can do with him.
There we have it, in a season which has been so so poor it’s of little surprise that the standout players have been towards the back of our line up. Of course, teams know they don’t need to attack us for 90 minutes which has reduced the burden on our defence, but they’ve still been pretty good in the majority of the games this season. It’s in the attack where a total overhaul is needed from both a tactical and possibly personnel overview. It’s fair to say that the standard for these players getting selected is pretty low, half of them haven’t even really done anything. There’s a few more whom whilst I wouldn’t say have had an actively poor season, they simply haven’t even played enough to be given consideration.
Post game, it was time for a trip to our regular haunt The Wolf Pack for some celebratory drinks. In an attempt to avoid a brutal hangover on the Monday, the decision was made to switch to a session IPA instead of their standard 5% lager. Unsurprisingly it didn’t work.
It was worth it anyway though and a rather fitting reminder that no matter the result in SW6, we can always have a laugh and joke after the game and we did just that. My memory is a little hazy of exactly what went down but I know we had a good time. It was only natural that one member of the travelling party missed their night bus back to Scotland. I hope you enjoyed your hotel last night Cammy!
I’m going to aim to keep this blog going over the summer months with a weekly opinion/summary piece but I am very excited to have a few months way from going to the football and watch a few other sports.
Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read both this and the other posts I’ve done this season, I’m extremely grateful for all the support and comments.
The Shed Diaries 